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Long ago, a group of animals from the Sahara desert gathered around the sand dune on a hot, sunny day.
“We have to find a way to find some water or all of the animals could suffer,” said the camel.
“Okay, then how about we send the snake up that sand dune to see if he can see any waterholes?” the fox said.
The snake took off for the large sand dune and scanned the desert looking for a waterhole. He squinted and saw what looked to be an area full of trees indicating water was near them. He reported back that he indeed saw a waterhole, but he would go by himself to make sure he was correct. He quickly slithered over to the trees and saw a gleaming pool of water. As he got closer to the bank, he heard a voice call out to him.
The voice shouted to the snake, “Answer my question, and you will be able to drink from my waterhole.”
The snake was too thirsty to listen to the voice so he ignored it and began to drink anyway. The snake took one sip and then rolled over dead.
The sand cat wondered what was taking the snake so long, so he sprinted over to the area abundant with trees to investigate. He saw the water and felt his mouth begin to dry up. The voice called out to him just as it did for the snake. The sand cat ignored the voice and raced over to the water to take a large gulp. He too passed away by the waterhole.
The camel was curious if the two animals had found the waterhole yet, so slowly but surely, he made his way over to the tall green trees. He saw the two animals dead by the waterhole and sorrowed over them. The voice called out, “Answer my question and you shall drink from my waterhole! Ignore me and pay for the consequences!”
“Who goes there? Reveal yourself or else,” the camel said angrily. He drew his sword and scanned the pond for the voice. As he was looking at the pond he could not resist the way it sparkled in the sunlight and went over to take a sip. He immediately fell to the ground, just as the other animals did, and died.
The fox, being the last one standing behind the sand dune, was worried that the other animals were drinking water without him. He sneakily sprinted over to the area with the trees and saw all of his animals fallen over dead. Full of anger he screamed, “WHO DID THIS?”
The voice called out, “It is me! Your friends did not listen to me before. All they had to do was answer my question and then they could freely drink from my waterhole.”
The fox called back, “What question do you want to be answered?”
The voice, giddy that someone finally was going to answer his question, stated, “Ahh, glad you asked. My one question is….what is black and white and red all over? You get the one answer, so think hard!”
The fox, being sneaky, had always been strategic and loved tricking his friends with riddles. He had heard this one a handful of times so he confidently answered with “A newspaper!”
The voice screamed with excitement. “You got it right! You got it right! No one has ever gotten it right before. Since you are the first I will bring back your friends for being correct.”
The animals around the waterhole began to rise back to life and they all happily drank from the mysterious waterhole.
Author's Note:
For this story, I was inspired by the "Riddles at the Lake" story in the Mahabharata. The story originally began with a group of men who were in the forest searching for water and each one failed to listen to the voice and was killed. Finally, the wise man answered all of the questions and was granted access to the pond as well as bringing back his brothers. I did the same storyline but thought it would be interesting to do this with animals. I finally had the sneaky fox be the one who could trick the voice and save them all. I really enjoyed getting to write this story. I think giving human-based stories a twist by using animals is always fun to write and can be very entertaining to read. I used typical desert animals in this story to make it seem as realistic as a fiction story can be. I also made the fox be the one who saves the day at the end due to his sneaky, sly personality traits. I liked the idea of the setting to be in a desert because it could explain why the animals were so thirsty they decided to ignore the voice each time. I made some revisions to the story by adding more descriptive adjectives. I think stories that the reader is able to visualize are entertaining to read. I also was able to revise my story by correcting grammatical errors making it easier to read.
Bibliography:
Author: Donald A. Mackenzie
Title: Riddles at the Lake
Link: Link to story
Hi, Adrienne! I really enjoyed reading your story! I thought your use of dialogue throughout the story was very well done. I thought your sequencing of events was very clear and your story was very easy to follow. Your descriptions of the water, especially the phrase, “sparkled in the sunlight” really help the reader to understand why the animals were so tempted to drink from the water even though they knew they shouldn’t.
ReplyDeleteHi Adrienne!
ReplyDeleteI read this story in your original weekly story and also in your portfolio, so I’ve already left some basic comments about it so I’ll focus on possible suggestions this time! My first curiosity was why are all of these animals traveling together in the desert? How are they friends? What is a fox doing in the desert? I love how you have the sly fox element where he is able to answer the riddle because he tricks his friends. Maybe you could expand on these animal characteristics by making a comment about the snake being snaky for leaving to go see the water himself, or have the camel do something more camel-like than draw his sword. After this weeks Krishna readings, your story reminds me a little of the story with the snake in the pond of poison that Krishna defeats. Combining the two stories could be a cool route to explore if you are looking to expand your story!
Hey Adrienne! I really enjoyed your story! I thought it was a clever retelling of "Riddles at the Lake". I like how you made it even more clear that the animals needed the water and were not as patient as they should be. I also thought that you did a good job of using descriptive words and phrases. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Adrienne, this was a good retelling of "Riddles at the Lake"! I enjoy translation into the desert as it gives the animals a decent reason to avoid answering the mysterious voice's question! In the original, I thought it was really dumb for the Pandavas to not listen when there really wasn't a rush. I've left additional comments on your portfolio, but overall good job!
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