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One day a group of fish was swimming about the ocean looking
for a coral reef to stay in for the night. At night, the fish have to sleep in
a coral reef because they are so small they have a risk of being an animal’s meal.
In one particular reef, there was a sea urchin who lived there and waited for
prey. The urchin was very scary and did not go outside of the reef as he was the
local whale’s favorite snack. If any animal tried to stay in his reef, he would
use one of his spikes to enable him from swimming away then he would eat them
for his meal. The group of fish was swimming all day looking a reef to stay in
when they all saw one insight. The reef was perfect, it was big enough for all
of them to stay, and was dark in color so it would not attract as many animals
to it. One brave fish decided he would go scope it out and swam swiftly over to
the reef. He started going in towards the reef and disappeared. All of the fish
were shocked that he was gone so quick. Another fish, worried for his friend, quickly
followed after him. He slowly approached the reef and began to swim inside. The
urchin spiked him and the fish was soon consumed by the urchin too. All of the
fish began to panic and swim around the reef sad that two of their friends had disappeared.
The fish started to think they would have nowhere to stay for the night and
would all be eaten alive. A dolphin swam over and saw the fish looking worried
and sad. He asked what was wrong and the fish told him that two of their friends
had been taken in this reef. The smart dolphin knew it was an evil urchin. He
remembered that all urchins had their spikes as weapons so he told the fish he
would be back and hurriedly swam away. A few minutes later he came back with a
handful of long, sticky seaweed. He told the fish to hold on to one side of it
while he grasped the other side of the seaweed. They began to floss the coral reef.
The local whale swam by to see what was going on, and at the same time the fish
and the dolphin pulled up on the seaweed to see the mean urchin sticking to it
able to get out. The local whale saw his favorite snack and immediately swam
over to eat it. The fish were pleased and happy they had somewhere to stay for
the night. They thanked the dolphin and the whale and settled down in the reef
for the night.
Author’s Note: I was inspired by the jakata tale, The Goblin
in the Pool and wanted to create my own story. In the Goblin story, the mean
goblin stopped the monkeys from drinking the pool water until they figured out
a way to trick him. I wanted the same idea behind my story, except with
characters from the ocean. I thought using the school of fish would be a unique
idea similar to the group of monkeys, and I wanted my hero at the end to be the
smart dolphin. The dolphin was ultimately able to figure out how to trick the
urchin into attaching to the sticky seaweed and pulling him out of the reef to
be eaten. I really enjoyed writing this story, and hope it was interesting to
read!
Bibliography:
Author: W.H.D Rouse
Title: The Goblin in the Pool
Hi Adrienne! I really liked this story and could definitely see where you got your inspiration from before reading your author's note. Your story was really well written and had a nice flow to it. I love the under the sea theme you had going on it made the story so fun! Overall I enjoyed this story and look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHey Adrienne! I really enjoyed your story! I also really enjoy reading jatakas. They have interesting morals to each story. I think you did a really good job of adapting your story from the original story enough to completely avoid plagiarism while retaining the original plot. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHey Adrienne,
ReplyDeleteI can relate the parallels of your rendition and the Jakata tale. I appreciate how you used animals to draw comparisons from the monkeys in the original story. One suggesting you may consider is breaking up the large paragraph into multiple paragraphs and maybe also adding some dialogues might help elevate your story portrayal. Overall, good job with your rendition!
Hello Adrienne,
ReplyDeleteI noticed that you have an ocean them going on from the two stories that I have read and that's cool!. I really enjoyed this story! Over all this was a great story and I think some possible reformatting and it would be even better!