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| Image Source. My story focused on Shellita being stolen by Waveana in the middle of the night and the hunt for her. It features Shellita's spouse, Dolpha and his brother Lakship. |
Long ago, there was a mermaid and a dolphin who was exiled
from the mermaids Kingdom. While swimming through the reefs one day the dolphin
named Dolpha, found his brother resting on the ocean floor.
“Lakship, what are you doing here?” asked Dolpha.
“Brother! I have been searching for you for days, bad news
has hit the kingdom. Father has passed away and mother sent me to look for you”
Dolpha and his mermaid spouse, Shellita, grieved over the
news Lakship had just given to them. Lakship decided that there was no use to
go back to the kingdom and decided to stay with Dolpha. They roamed around the
ocean floor looking for the next warm coral reef to stay in for the night. One
night, as they were sleeping, Shellita heard a rustling through the seaweed.
Shellita awoke from her slumber and went to investigate what had made the loud
noise as Dolpha and Lakship stayed sound asleep. Shellita was met with a whale
who tried talking her into leaving Dolpha as he would not be the right man for her.
When Shellita decided to stay loyal to Dolpha the whale became enraged and
scooped her up under his large fins and kidnapped her in the dark of the night.
The stingray named Rayu saw the whale take Shellita and immediately swam away
to find Dolpha and Lakship to relay the news.
“Lakship! Dolpha! It’s Shellita, she is in trouble!”
Dolpha and Lakship awoke in terror screaming at Rayu to tell
them everything he saw.
“It’s the whale Waveana, he has stolen Shellita! He tried to
seduce her into becoming his wife and she denied him, making him steal her away.
Quick! Follow her before it becomes too late”
Rayu showed Dolpha and Lakship the way in which Shellita was
stolen in the night and they hurriedly followed after her. Dolpha quickly approached
the land of Swordelleya and found the King Swordfish, Sanduman, to have him and
his army of swordfish help fight Waveana and return Shellita to him. Sanduman
decided to transform himself into a small clown fish to go and investigate
where Shellita was in Waveana’s mansion. He, within minutes, found Waveana fast
asleep with an empty space beside him. He continued to look throughout he
mansion in hopes Shellita could return home and he and Dolpha would be
reunited at last…
Author’s Note: I was inspired to take the story from the
Ramayana to retell the moment where Sita was stolen by Ravana in the middle of
the night. I thought putting a twist of the characters being in the ocean would
be fun and exciting to write. Originally, I tried to retell a different part of
the Ramayana story and ended up thinking this story made a better fit for an
under the sea theme. I loved this section of the Ramayana and find that there a
lot of ways this story can be retold.
Bibliography:
Author: Sister Nivedita
Title: Hanuman in Lakna
Link: Link to story
This was cute, I liked the ties of mermaid and dolphins. I was thrown off for a minute because I misread that his wife was a mermaid and had rot reread to see where mermaids came into play. I really liked your dialog between Dolpha and Lakship (loved the tie-in of ships) in the beginning. What if there was a character list to make it easier to keep track? There are so many names without background it can be easy to get jumbled. The list would provide a referencing point. Thanks for writing!
ReplyDeleteI can't get over this creative re-telling of Sita (Shellita) being stolen by Ravana (Waveana)! How clever that you have turned their names into quite appropriate sea creatures to represent their Ramayana counterparts. I can totally see this story being something we are assigned for "Extra Credit" reading to see the original in a whole new way. How did you come up with this idea? Were you inspired by the Ramayana characters in the original who were animals (monkeys/bears)? I could see how this observation would entice you to think about how the story could be put in an underwater setting since there are plenty of species under the sea to choose from. I might suggest, though, using spaces between the dialogue and paragraphs for an easier reading experience. That and a couple little grammar slips aside, though, I can't think of anything else that could improve this. Your creative boldness paid off here!
ReplyDeleteHi, Adrienne! I really enjoyed your story! The ocean spin on things was so cute! The story overall flowed very nicely. I especially appreciated your creative ocean names! I thought it was neat that each of them resembled the corresponding names in the Ramayana. The only thing I would suggest is adding more space between your paragraphs to make it just a bit easier to read! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Adrienne! What a cute spin on the original story! I really enjoyed this! I appreciated the creativity that you did. I love their names! I think you did a great job with the underwater setting and dialogue. My one suggestion is to break up the paragraphs a bit more, they were a bit hard to read, but that’s really minor. Great work! I can’t wait to see what else you write!
ReplyDeleteThe setting of this was so fun! I never would have thought of it, but it really did fit nicely! I also enjoyed the alliteration of the names--it reminds me of how I would name stuffed animals when I was younger. I like the image you chose as well:) Do you think going forward the dolphin will be any match for the whale?
ReplyDelete